Bad day at the office

If the match reports don't make gloomy enough reading, I thought I'd add some more grumbles to the mix in the wake of today's chaotic fixture at Pittodrie. WHAT was that all about? Two red cards, a handful of yellows, players kicking each other, players kicking doors, bills for broken glass. Our players weren't just useless today, it would seem that they were also somewhat bereft of anything approximating Christmas spirit.

It's often difficult to get a real idea of a game without seeing it, and the chronic commentating skills of BBC Sportsound don't often help to make this any easier, but fortunately we can always rely on the 'colourful' Hearts World for some straight talking. Gary Mackay growled his way through the 90 minutes of play while the others merely muttered occasionally and whistled through their teeth at the antics of the referee. Oh yes, Brines - another one who didn't exactly cover himself in glory. Surely something has to be done about this ridiculous excuse for an official before he causes a riot? There are few referees whose inept performances are enough to have home and away supporters singing in unison about how awful you are, but he's one of them.

The increasingly impressive Janos Balogh excepted, it would be fair to say that our team just didn't turn up today. I grimaced slightly within the first few minutes of the game when the commentator gave a wry chuckle and flippantly suggested that the players looked like they might have overindulged on the old mince pies and appeared to be unusually sluggish. I thought it was just a slow start, nothing too odd about that, but no - this was the shape of things to come.


The defenders struggled to defend, the midfielders struggled to string a pass together and as for Nade, it's difficult to know what he did or didn't do as his name was barely mentioned in amongst the flurry of reports on neat little bits of play from Aberdeen's fired up mob. It was no surprise whatsoever that Aberdeen opened the scoring, and even less of a surprise that the goal came from former Jambo Lee Miller. It was just one of those days.

By this point, I would have switched it off and gone to do something less stressful like going through my credit card statement for December, but devotion can be a painful thing...I stuck around for the second half in the hope that Csaba's bum-kicking at half-time would be enough to see our team turn up for the remaining 45 minutes. Nope, not a hope in hell. If anything, they were worse.


So then, I got to thinking about the chances of 10 players all having an off-day on the same afternoon and decided that it had to be a good sign. Surely it then follows that they will all have an equally synchronised and simultaneous bout of stupendously good form next weekend? This theory might be the ultimate in straw grabbing but with a derby looming, this is really no time for permitting the gloom to descend upon Tynecastle and it's citizens. Had we gone into next week's game against our local rivals with a carefully maintained, unbeaten run, there is no doubt in my mind that we would have lost. It's the way of the world. The ultimate in footballing sod's law.

Plus, it's one game. It's not the end of the world. It's not like we lost to Airdrie. So I'm drawing a line under this one and looking forward to our triple whammy of Hibs/Motherwell/Hibs next week instead. I'm normally too superstitious to openly admit to dreams of taking scalps from both Mixu and McGhee in the same week, but there's nothing wrong with a little controlled optimism every once in a while....

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Obua: not fit for purpose?

Despite a less than illustrious start to his career in maroon, occasional flashes of footballing ability and a growing faith in Csaba's judgement had ensured that David Obua wasn't written off quite as quickly as might have been expected by a nervy Hearts support. Some neat passes, a decent first touch and talk of his versatility had reassured onlookers that given time, there was a chance that the South African player of the year and former Kaiser Chiefs star could become a useful addition to the squad.

While some were quicker to lose patience than others, a fair number amongst the support did try their best to overlook some awkward flaws in his game and gave due consideration to the fact that a period of adjustment could be required. He was slow to move in for the tackle, preferring instead to attempt pass interception from a safe distance. He was visibly off the pace and wanted too much time on the ball. His positional awareness was shaky. His workrate was less than convincing, and at times he looked like a man who would rather be anywhere else than on a football pitch. If this wasn't enough, his build was anything other than typical of your average SPL player and despite being reasonably tall, he looked worryingly like he might snap in a strong breeze.

Listed in this way, these not inconsiderable problems seem to present conclusive evidence that he just wasn't likely to make it but it would appear that we're nothing if not optimists down in Gorgie. A few moans and groans from the stands was as bad as it got for Obua - the fans merely raised an eyebrow at his trousers-around-the-ankles press conference houdini antics and even forgave him for the heinous act of turning out in green boots.

But a charmed existence of this kind can't last forever and when you're on a sticky wicket as it is, the second last thing you should do is push your luck. The absolutely last thing you should do is snuff out any remaining goodwill and make yourself the most disliked man in Gorgie by spitting at your own fans.

I'm not the type to boo or heckle players and in a cauldron like Tynecastle where players are so close to the support that they can hear every word, I fail to see how booming criticism and insults are likely to effect improvements in performance. Nonetheless, supporters are entitled to voice their opinions and should be able to do so without the intended target responding with a torrent of abuse and globs of projectile saliva. Had Obua demonstrated half as much vigour or aggression with a ball at his feet, there's every chance that he would have avoided such a situation in the first place because while lack of ability can be forgiven, lack of effort certainly cannot. To those who would gladly gnaw off their own arm for a chance to wear that maroon jersey, it's the ultimate act of disrespect. A universal footballing sentiment and a characteristic of supporters which I'd imagine is every bit as prevalent in South Africa as it is in Scotland...

So, where to go from here? Csaba Laszlo has voiced his disappointment in Obua's performance thus far and it remains to be seen whether or not he can do enough to convince the manager that he deserves another chance. However, I'd hazard a guess that the supporters would quite gladly do a whip round for his plane ticket back to Uganda and that his actions this weekend may have been the final nail in his coffin where they are concerned. It might be going a little far to suggest that his position is completely untenable, football fans are also characteristically fickle and short of memory, but I've seen nothing to suggest that he has either the required levels of commitment or bottle to turn this situation around. If I were him, I'd begin with a grovelling apology to the fans but I'm not holding my breath - his rotten attitude could well be a more significant problem than his questionable footballing abilities.

Who needs 4-4-2 when you can play 4-6-0?

When the club reported that Juho Makela was injured, I have to admit that I was disappointed but only because I was concerned that it might lessen our chances of shipping him out come January. Rumours of £5k per week and the same again in appearance fees did little to soothe growing concerns that signing him had been one of the biggest mistakes of the last few years, and the brief glimpses of him that we've had since his return from FC Thun have served only to emphasise his lack of goal scoring ability.

However, Csaba Laszlo's startling decision on Saturday to replace a petulant Christian Nade with David Obua rather than benchmate Jamie Mole highlighted the lack of confidence that our manager has in any of the striking options currently available to him.

There's no doubt that after 15 appearances this season alone, Jamie Mole has been given ample opportunity to prove that he could live up to the reputation he had amassed for being a training ground goal scoring guru but while his workrate can't be faulted, he too has failed to impress. While it is wouldn't be completely daft to consider the possibility that it was partly a tactical move, Csaba's decision to leave him on the bench and play over one hour of the match against Dundee United without a recognised striker must surely indicate that an exit from Tynecastle is beckoning for Mole.

Mike Tullberg is still injured and Gary Glen's promotion to the first team appears to have been put on ice for the time being, so with no other real contenders coming through from the reserves or youth ranks it appears that our options are somewhat limited to say the very least. Indeed, the composition of the bench on Saturday might suggest that Glen's return to the first team could be even further away than expected. Financial constraints or not, it's surely inconcievable to think that even Vladimir would believe that we can sustain a challenge for third place without bringing in at least one striker in January?

I always thought Csaba had a bit of a twinkle in his eye...

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The closest Ewen Cameron will get to Tynecastle this season...

Sedatives please, and plenty of them...

See? Just when you think it's safe to express even the tiniest little bit of joy, it all comes crashing right back down again around your ears. We barely had time to celebrate the win over Rangers before we received news that the wages issue had become even more bizarre and twisted, with the press indicating that the highest earners may have agreed to defer their wages until January and the win bonuses would follow on in 'due course'...whatever that means...

If her name alone isn't enough to leave people quaking in their boots, Jurga Chomskyte-McGeever is fast becoming the ominous Cruella de Vil of this horribly realistic pantomime. If the UBIG execs think these events to be of sufficient importance that they warrant comment from Lithuania, the very least they could do is take the time to come up with something better than: "It's merely a glitch. Everything is fine." The one thing that we had managed to work out for ourselves is that everything is very much not fine, and after months (years?) of overdosing on vague, we'd really be grateful if someone might take the time to give us something more factual than the convoluted smorgasbord of rumour and supposition that the local media serve to us on a daily basis.

While I refuse to be cajoled into fitful hysteria by the Daily Record's endless claims of outstanding bills, court cases, disconnected water supplies and poverty stricken den mothers, the Hibs fans' obsession with the cost of aluminium in Eastern Europe and falling UBIG share prices, or the News of the World's reportage on Vlad's transatlantic dealings with dodgy Russian oligarchs, everyone has their breaking point and mine is approaching at quite an alarming rate of knots.

On the face of it, you'd think everything was just dandy. Csaba continues to smile, crack jokes and neatly sidestep any probing questions relating to financial matters. Berra and Stewart have been wheeled out to confirm that the players agree. You would almost think it was business as usual if it wasn't for the fact that the papers are now also full of reports linking half of the squad with moves to the Premiership and the club website is carrying ready made CVs for Kingston and Driver on the front page. There's no doubting that certain members of the playing staff are destined for greater things, but since when were we awash with superstars? And they say Celtic are the PR gurus...

I have no idea what's likely to happen in coming weeks, but come the end of January, if I can look back on this blog entry and laugh I won't mind the blushes one little bit. It's good to exercise the cynicism every once in a while but to be honest, I'd really rather not think about any of it at all.

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Big Team, Big Cup (Draw)

Well, I certainly didn't see that one coming. Two derbies in the space of eight days, one home fixture and one away; one league and one Scottish Cup. Much as I'm really quite fond of Santa, turkey and such like, there's only going to be one topic of festive conversation in Edinburgh this year and it certainly isn't going to be the Queen's speech. It's all about the road to Hampden.

A cup that just so happens to look extra attractive when adorned with maroon and white ribbons, if I don't say so myself. A trophy which even managed to make Valdas Ivanauskas smile. A prize that brought the city centre to a standstill (twice).

The Big Cup.

On one hand, it's a little bit sad that these little trips down memory lane always now have to involve a mention of our neighbours in Leith, but credit where it's due - it wouldn't have been the same without them. Sunday 2nd April 2006, Heart of Midlothian 4-0 Hibernian. 43,000 of us had the day of our lives, while 324 of them wished they'd taken the 'wrong turning' off the M8 and disappeared off into the bermuda triangle with the rest of the San Giro faithful. Hartley's hattrick, a blizzard of maroon and mayhem and the White Stripes soundtrack in the background. Two tribes, indeed...and that was only the semi.

So here we are again. Maybe they'll also petition to have this game moved from Easter Road on account of the advantage we're bound to enjoy after having won more derbies at their ground than they have? Bad me, it's really not kind to mock the afflicted but the opportunity to watch 106 years without a Scottish Cup turn into 107 is just far too appealing. The alternative is too awful to contemplate at this point, and if I find myself having a particularly bad day in the coming weeks I might well broach that subject, but not today. To be honest, I just wanted an excuse to post lots of gratuitous links to Scottish Cup things....

No, we have open top bus parades to remember... that huge, bouncing, maroon mob following the bus down the Mound to Princes Street, an impromptu twirly at Haymarket and then off home to Tynecastle. Sadly, there aren't quite as many videos to pick from for the 1998 Scottish Cup win but there are a few, including footage of Colin Cameron's penalty , Baggio's 'mazy' run into the box and a whole load of dancing Jambos.

What I'd pay for another day like that. Roll on, December...let's get started....

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

So UBIG have ballsed it up again and are we really all that surprised? After a week of slightly grimy attempts by the media to upset and irritate those of a maroon persuasion, it was more disappointing than anything else to read on Friday evening that yet again, our players hadn't been paid on time. We all know that the tabloid press love nothing more than a juicy opportunity to stick the boot in, but what makes it even more galling is the fact that while we're griping about it we're also handing them the ammo.

But this isn't really the main issue. While one mistake can be passed off as an unfortunate incident, doing it twice crosses that line into behaviour that demonstrates more than a little lack of respect for our playing staff. I couldn't care less what the media have to say about it, nor would I lose any sleep over the raucous glee with which news of this type is met by our Leith dwelling rivals - but I do care about the effect this could have on our players.

This team has been putting the work in, there's no doubt about that. They've fought tooth and nail over the last few weeks to bring some positivity back to Hearts and each and every single one of them deserves credit for the rapid improvements that we've witnessed and enjoyed. It goes without saying that neglecting to pay any employee is intrinsically wrong, regardless of who they are or what job they do - but this lot could be easily be forgiven for feeling that their recent efforts have not been recognised or appreciated by their employers. People who, in the past, have vehemently extolled the virtues of respect and have openly crticised players for allegedly demonstrating less than honourable intentions towards their colleagues and the club.

UBIG and Vladimir Romanov - practice what you preach. Whatever this 'blip' is, get it sorted out - and show our players a little respect.

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