T'was the night before the derby...

Okay, so it's not quite the heady mix of nerves, nausea and excitement that afflicted me before the cup game and it's not as if the result of this particular game has any sort of specific and meaningful outcome, but nonetheless I'm already looking forward to tomorrow. This feeling requires no explanation, it's a derby. Enough said. Going head to head with your local rivals is about as good as it gets but there are no prizes for second place, it's winner takes all.

For Hearts, this game - like any other - is about finding the points that will take them to Europe. In that respect, it's just as important as every other game we'll play between now and the end of the season. For Hibs, it's about finding themselves a place in the top six and finding some sort of highlight to a generally rotten season. A win against us might just give them the confidence and impetus to go on a last-minute run of form, although the jury is out on whether or not even a fifth place finish would be enough to keep Mixu in the hot seat.

But regardless of the benefits a win would bring for either side, it's so much more than just three points. There's pride at stake, and that's what makes it so special.

While some might be content to revel in the bravado gleaned from a decent league position and a few recent wins, I've never been one to tempt fate. Hibs might be having a difficult time right now but if anything, that makes them infinitely more dangerous than they would be if, for example, the positions were reversed. They got themselves a much needed win but they've been ritually humiliated both on and off the pitch in recent weeks; even their own manager saw fit to blast them in the press. They're not playing nice football but either are we, and the individual quality in their squad doesn't really reflect the performances that they've been churning out. Something has to give, and what better time and place for a renaissance than at home against your greatest rivals?

Of course, this sort of comeback would require some serious grit, commitment, a bit of luck and a dollop of decent football. They'd also need to rely on Hearts coming out and giving far less than we've offered in the past few fixtures against the likes of Motherwell and Dundee United. It wasn't pretty, but it was effective. Can Hearts keep that up and can Hibs find it in them to handle it, overcome it and then win? I'm not one for predictions, but I just hope the Hibs supporters have more faith in their team and manager than I do.

It's a derby and the old cliche is true, you really don't ever know how it's going to work out. But I have faith in the players and the manager, they've earned that this season, and I get the feeling they won't let us down tomorrow.

Vote Vladimir

Just when you think it's all quiet on the Eastern front, Vladimir chucks another curve ball into the mix. It would appear that when he's not dancing on the telly, outing McMafioso or dressing monkeys as journalists, he's quite into his politics.

After having a chinwag with Ruben Palazuelos a few weeks back, it didn't occur to me to note whether or not there was a knowing twinkle in his eye when he informed me that El Presidente was in the building. But being head honcho of a football club seems to be infinitely less than the full sum of his true aspirations - Vladimir is running for President of Lithuania.

Without having visited the country, or indeed, being able to rely on the blethers of Google translator for an accurate English write up of their press articles on the subject, it's difficult to gauge whether or not he might be a popular choice for the citizens of Lithuania. However, with very little info to go on it seems that Vladimir might well have been a tycoon of industry but prior to his shenanigans on 'Dancing with the Stars' he was largely unknown. I have no doubt that the barrage of Vlad-related articles published in the Scottish press will, to some extent, have filtered through to the papers in Lithuania and will have given him somewhat of a more tabloid friendly profile but is this enough to get him the 20,000 pre-election votes that are required to validate his candidacy? Will the Lithuanian people respond to this type of publicity when it comes to the serious matter of choosing the head of their government?

I'd attempt to go into the more obvious (and less interesting) obstacles but as I have no grasp whatsoever of the political culture in Lithuania, I can only assume that his business interests and industrial activities may conflict with any political aspirations, not to mention the opportunity for relationships and business deals that would compromise the integrity of any role in government. Rather than make further assumptions on what this might all mean for Hearts, I'm going to steer clear of the 'what ifs' and stick with one tiny little glowing gem of relief that might help soothe the spirits of any nervy Jambos. Put simply, if he was half as dodgy as people have suggested he might be - would he really be running for political office?

Before anyone hoots with laughter at my naivety, I'm well aware that politicians are rarely the most virtuous species but there's a very big difference between having a few skeletons in your closet and being a bonafide crook. It's almost a given these days that the most powerful people in society won't always play nice but if you have something big to hide, exposing yourself to the level of scrutiny that comes with running for political office is hardly the smart way to protect yourself and your interests. There isn't much information available on Vladimir, who he is and where exactly he got his cash, but it's probably safe to assume that if he starts to make any real progress with this campaign to run for President the information floodgates could well be thrown open.

The alternative is that he's just a bit bored and fancies the extra publicity. In any other set of circumstances involving almost any other individual, I wouldn't even consider going down that path but what we have come to understand over the past few years is that with Vladimir, anything is possible. Goodness knows what he's up to but it's going to be fun to watch and see how this one pans out. But for sheer entertainment and services to lunacy alone he'd definitely get my vote.

Moaning minnies of the SPL

Maybe I don't remember details as clearly as I should. I can barely remember who scored in any fixtures which happened longer than 2 weeks ago, I can't remember specifics about most transfers and I don't have any real recollections of specific comments made in television or press articles over the past few years. But I am sure that the level of catty comments between managers has never been quite this bad. There are handbags strewn across the SPL playing field.

Vladimir Romanov arrived in Edinburgh and was initially described as a breath of fresh air when he first began casting opinions on all and sundry. To begin with, his critique of the Scottish game and the SFA was refreshingly honest and we watched and listened with gleeful admiration. Of course, we all know how that turned out and these days, both Jambos and other onlookers are less inclined to pay quite so much attention to his profound rantings and Mafia-tinged tantrums. Love him or loathe him, there's no doubt that he was something new and different - football people just don't tend to sustain that sort of outspoken behaviour for very long.

So, by rights, we shouldn't really be all that surprised by recent events. Hearts supporters have adopted a certain siege mentality when it comes to criticism. We had to. Anything less would have seen the majority of us in straightjackets by the halfway point of last season. But before now, there was usually a good reason for the drama and scandal, a tangible reason for people to stick the knife in and cast aspersions upon the fine name of Heart of Midlothian Football Club. But to all intents and purposes, we've been really rather well behaved this season. A few red cards and Marius Zaliukas aside, our players haven't been getting into trouble or holding any impromptu press conferences to publicise dressing room unrest. Rumours of our demise were greatly exaggerated and we haven't had any plumbers trying to sue (or buy) us. We've even been doing rather well on the football pitch and have beaten off some decent competition to hang on to the coveted third spot....

Ah. Yes. That'll be it. We're doing rather well. We aren't supposed to be doing that, are we?

Perhaps Messrs Calderwood and Levein paid a little too much attention to rumour and underestimated both our squad and new-manager-on-the-block, Csaba Laszlo. Hearts didn't pick up many new players and going on last year's showing, not even the Special One himself should have managed to make a team out of that motley crew. But he did, and that might have been more than a little disappointing for those who expected to take advantage of our weakened state. These windows of opportunity don't come along very often and the prospect of a less competitive Hearts must have been very appealing for those who covet a regular place in the top end of the table.


McGhee might have fallen into the same trap, and probably had greater cause for hope following Motherwell's brief period of success last season and their reward of an even more brief soujourn into European football. But more importantly, there's that little incident with our managerial vacancy and the trip to Lithuania which culminated in a last minute change of heart in a departure lounge.

Thumbscrews wouldn't get it out of him but does anyone honestly believe that he doesn't regret that decision? I might wear maroon tinted glasses but I'd put money on the fact that he does. Laszlo's more than a thorn in his team's side, he's a constant reminder of what he could have had. Ouch.


Or maybe they're just moaning about Hearts because we don't play particularly pretty football and still manage to take points from them. Maybe our brand of smash and grab football is anathema to these sporting purists. It could be that simple, but it probably isn't. As Csaba explained, it's not about being attractive - it's about the points on the board. If you have nice football, you can die....and we wouldn't want that...we've got European adventures to consider.

The strangest feeling...

Having watched the debate unfold on Jambos Kickback regarding Hibs and their current predicament, I have to admit to experiencing the strangest feelings about it all. I don't want them to end up in the bottom six. Not at all.

According to some, it's not the done thing to have anything short of utter contempt and hatred for your local rivals and this is something I've always found a little difficult to comprehend. I don't want Hibs to achieve anything of note and I thoroughly enjoy the opportunities to exercise a little schadenfreude - opportunities which seem to arise with amusing regularity - but I can't find it in me to actually hate them. How can I hate something which brings me such joy?

I know plenty of Hearts supporters who in every other way are perfectly normal, calm and rational human beings, but also have the uncanny ability to morph into hate-filled, snarling gremlins at the mere mention of Hibs. It's just one of those football rivalry things which must have bypassed me during my formative Jambo years, but I'm perfectly comfortable with my approach. Perhaps I'd feel differently about things if Hibs had ever really managed to be a threat to us but that hasn't happened yet, and doesn't look likely in the forseeable future.

So, they're not doing all that well right now. The fans are baying for blood, Mixu's coat is on the shoogliest of shoogly pegs and the players are more interested in cultivating their penchant for ridiculous hairstyles than actually playing football. I actually heard them booing from a nearby street the other day and all in all, it's really quite satisfying to watch weekly disasters unfold at Easter Road. They're currently sitting in 7th and with 3 points separating them and 6th placed Motherwell, not to mention Hamilton Accies only 1 point behind them in 8th, ending up in the bottom six after the split is suddenly a very real possibility.

Hibs fans were hardly sympathetic when we had the same problem last season and yes, it would be nice to be given the chance to redress the balance in that respect, but for me that satisfaction would be outweighed by the things that we'd miss out on. A top six finish is all very well, as is the race for third, but I'd miss having that final derby at Tynecastle and if we want to get really cheeky about it, with a tough fixture list I'd be more comfortable putting money on us getting 3 points at home from Hibs than anyone else. Plus, it's a derby and quite simply, nothing else really compares. Furthermore, by missing out on a derby we'd also miss out on a ton of cash and we don't appear to be in a position to dismiss this sort of revenue out of hand. Finally, a bottom six finish could see the end of Mixu and quite frankly, I'm a big fan. He might well be my favourite Hibs manager.

We'd miss out on one opportunity to sneer, but it's not as if it would leave us short on material. Hibs are going nowhere fast and we'd benefit far more from having them in the top six....and most importantly, Mixu must stay if we want to see the same farce unfold all over again next year....

Proper peckers

David Obua seems to be a name which crops up more often than anyone else on this blog at the moment, but again, it was our erstwhile Ugandan who inspired the comments which in turn, inspired this blog entry. According to Colin Duncan of the Daily Record, Obua was celebrating our win against Dundee United by dancing like a 'proper pecker'. He wasn't alone, apparently Ruben Palazuelos was throwing some rather nifty shapes and the travelling Hearts support were having a right old party in the stands too.

And who could blame any of them? I can think of several reasons why we have every right to party like it's 2009.

1. No matter which way you look at it, that was a big result for us. A hugely important win. When asked to predict the score on Saturday morning prior to the match, I'm ashamed to say that my gut instinct didn't include thoughts of winning or even scraping a draw. Despite having noted that United's form hadn't been all that spectacular since the transfer window closed, the absence of Flood wasn't enough to convince me that United wouldn't be up for this one - Tannadice has hardly been a happy hunting ground for us in recent months and I just couldn't see where we'd find the grit required to get through this fixture unscathed. I'm delighted to say that where my faith was lacking, the players certainly weren't suffering from a lack of guts and while it wasn't pretty, three points were bravely snatched and dispatched back to Edinburgh. Three points which moved us 5 points ahead of United and 6 ahead of Aberdeen and kept us firmly in the third spot.

2. David Obua may only have arrived recently in Gorgie but many of the players who turned out against Dundee United have been through the mill with the supporters over the last year or so. They will remember how it felt last season when we struggled through almost every game and ended up stuck in the bottom six. The players didn't operate as a team, didn't seem to know how to play as a unit and had absolutely no sense of direction. The supporters were miserable, the boo boys were out in force and the atmosphere at games was bordering on murderous at times. Stevie Frail, for all his good intentions, was completely out of his depth and the general feeling was one of hopelessness and frustration.

How things have changed. Hearts took an impressive support with them on their travels to Tayside and while it might be one of the most overused cliches in football, they really were the twelfth man. The players may not have been purveyors of beautiful football, but they should be commended for their tenacity and commitment and were spurred on by the support they received from the stands. A million miles away from what we had last year and in my book, definitely worth a wee dance or two.

3. Csaba Laszlo. This man is glue. Super glue. I don't need to go into any lengthy detail about why he's important or explain how he has been the catalyst for the changes we've witnessed at Tynecastle, but he's the reason that we're currently sitting in third. He's also the reason why we can go to games without that horrible sense of foreboding. Vladimir Romanov may be many things, and has made many mistakes, but signing this man was a masterstroke and at the risk of wishing away the rest of what could be a fantastic season for us, I can't wait to see what he does this summer. If he's given the means to build his own squad and bring in some quality in the next transfer window, I think we could be watching something special next year. If the judges for Manager of the Year take our full circumstances into consideration, he surely has to be in with a shout. I'm a fully fledged and committed member of Csaba Laszlo's Barmy Army, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Plenty of reasons to be positive, plenty of reasons to be hopeful, plenty of reasons to have a wee dance. It's all looking rather rosy in the Gorgie garden and I, for one, intend to make the most of it.