The strangest feeling...

Having watched the debate unfold on Jambos Kickback regarding Hibs and their current predicament, I have to admit to experiencing the strangest feelings about it all. I don't want them to end up in the bottom six. Not at all.

According to some, it's not the done thing to have anything short of utter contempt and hatred for your local rivals and this is something I've always found a little difficult to comprehend. I don't want Hibs to achieve anything of note and I thoroughly enjoy the opportunities to exercise a little schadenfreude - opportunities which seem to arise with amusing regularity - but I can't find it in me to actually hate them. How can I hate something which brings me such joy?

I know plenty of Hearts supporters who in every other way are perfectly normal, calm and rational human beings, but also have the uncanny ability to morph into hate-filled, snarling gremlins at the mere mention of Hibs. It's just one of those football rivalry things which must have bypassed me during my formative Jambo years, but I'm perfectly comfortable with my approach. Perhaps I'd feel differently about things if Hibs had ever really managed to be a threat to us but that hasn't happened yet, and doesn't look likely in the forseeable future.

So, they're not doing all that well right now. The fans are baying for blood, Mixu's coat is on the shoogliest of shoogly pegs and the players are more interested in cultivating their penchant for ridiculous hairstyles than actually playing football. I actually heard them booing from a nearby street the other day and all in all, it's really quite satisfying to watch weekly disasters unfold at Easter Road. They're currently sitting in 7th and with 3 points separating them and 6th placed Motherwell, not to mention Hamilton Accies only 1 point behind them in 8th, ending up in the bottom six after the split is suddenly a very real possibility.

Hibs fans were hardly sympathetic when we had the same problem last season and yes, it would be nice to be given the chance to redress the balance in that respect, but for me that satisfaction would be outweighed by the things that we'd miss out on. A top six finish is all very well, as is the race for third, but I'd miss having that final derby at Tynecastle and if we want to get really cheeky about it, with a tough fixture list I'd be more comfortable putting money on us getting 3 points at home from Hibs than anyone else. Plus, it's a derby and quite simply, nothing else really compares. Furthermore, by missing out on a derby we'd also miss out on a ton of cash and we don't appear to be in a position to dismiss this sort of revenue out of hand. Finally, a bottom six finish could see the end of Mixu and quite frankly, I'm a big fan. He might well be my favourite Hibs manager.

We'd miss out on one opportunity to sneer, but it's not as if it would leave us short on material. Hibs are going nowhere fast and we'd benefit far more from having them in the top six....and most importantly, Mixu must stay if we want to see the same farce unfold all over again next year....

Proper peckers

David Obua seems to be a name which crops up more often than anyone else on this blog at the moment, but again, it was our erstwhile Ugandan who inspired the comments which in turn, inspired this blog entry. According to Colin Duncan of the Daily Record, Obua was celebrating our win against Dundee United by dancing like a 'proper pecker'. He wasn't alone, apparently Ruben Palazuelos was throwing some rather nifty shapes and the travelling Hearts support were having a right old party in the stands too.

And who could blame any of them? I can think of several reasons why we have every right to party like it's 2009.

1. No matter which way you look at it, that was a big result for us. A hugely important win. When asked to predict the score on Saturday morning prior to the match, I'm ashamed to say that my gut instinct didn't include thoughts of winning or even scraping a draw. Despite having noted that United's form hadn't been all that spectacular since the transfer window closed, the absence of Flood wasn't enough to convince me that United wouldn't be up for this one - Tannadice has hardly been a happy hunting ground for us in recent months and I just couldn't see where we'd find the grit required to get through this fixture unscathed. I'm delighted to say that where my faith was lacking, the players certainly weren't suffering from a lack of guts and while it wasn't pretty, three points were bravely snatched and dispatched back to Edinburgh. Three points which moved us 5 points ahead of United and 6 ahead of Aberdeen and kept us firmly in the third spot.

2. David Obua may only have arrived recently in Gorgie but many of the players who turned out against Dundee United have been through the mill with the supporters over the last year or so. They will remember how it felt last season when we struggled through almost every game and ended up stuck in the bottom six. The players didn't operate as a team, didn't seem to know how to play as a unit and had absolutely no sense of direction. The supporters were miserable, the boo boys were out in force and the atmosphere at games was bordering on murderous at times. Stevie Frail, for all his good intentions, was completely out of his depth and the general feeling was one of hopelessness and frustration.

How things have changed. Hearts took an impressive support with them on their travels to Tayside and while it might be one of the most overused cliches in football, they really were the twelfth man. The players may not have been purveyors of beautiful football, but they should be commended for their tenacity and commitment and were spurred on by the support they received from the stands. A million miles away from what we had last year and in my book, definitely worth a wee dance or two.

3. Csaba Laszlo. This man is glue. Super glue. I don't need to go into any lengthy detail about why he's important or explain how he has been the catalyst for the changes we've witnessed at Tynecastle, but he's the reason that we're currently sitting in third. He's also the reason why we can go to games without that horrible sense of foreboding. Vladimir Romanov may be many things, and has made many mistakes, but signing this man was a masterstroke and at the risk of wishing away the rest of what could be a fantastic season for us, I can't wait to see what he does this summer. If he's given the means to build his own squad and bring in some quality in the next transfer window, I think we could be watching something special next year. If the judges for Manager of the Year take our full circumstances into consideration, he surely has to be in with a shout. I'm a fully fledged and committed member of Csaba Laszlo's Barmy Army, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Plenty of reasons to be positive, plenty of reasons to be hopeful, plenty of reasons to have a wee dance. It's all looking rather rosy in the Gorgie garden and I, for one, intend to make the most of it.

David Obua: Fit for purpose

So I was sitting here reading back on some of the earlier entries and as is the way with blogs (and football), I found that time has changed my opinions on many of the things I've written previously. With most issues, it's simply a case of hindsight but when it comes to David Obua it's more than just revising and updating opinion. Only 2 months ago, I saw fit to give him a whole blog entry of criticisms - many of which were justified - and things being as they are now, it's only fair that I redress that balance and spend some time lavishing praise on my current favourite player.

Davie O, I'm happy to say that I was wrong about you. Getting the less pleasant bits out of the way first, your petulance and spitting antics were downright cruddy and unnecessary but I like to think that your attitude towards us as fans has changed in much the same way that our attitude has changed towards you. Hearts fans can be critical and demanding, but we reserve the right to pass comment because we're the people who love this club and we'll be around long after you're gone. You didn't warm to us and we weren't keen on you either - we thought you were short on ability and commitment, and laden down with bad attitude.

But then we played Hibs.

You turned up, you put in a shift and for the first time we really saw a player who could contribute something to the team. Perhaps it helped that we weren't at Tynecastle and even moreso that we were at the home of our rivals, the supporters are more forgiving when outnumbered and I have no doubt that this might have lifted a little of the pressure. But you played well and one of my favourite memories of that game was the sight of you standing there on the pitch at the end, open-mouthed and slightly in awe, just watching the Hearts end celebrating and grinning as we applauded. You were the last to leave the pitch. Don't correct me on my indulgent and romantic notion if I'm wrong, but I like to think that this was the moment that you really started to 'get' Heart of Midlothian Football Club.

Since then, you've come on leaps and bounds to the point where there aren't many Hearts supporters I know who wouldn't have you as one of the first names on their team sheet. Csaba said you would come good and you did. There's good technique, neat passes, you'll take on and beat your man, nice crosses, great aerial ability - you've even started putting in tackles! And goals too, of course.

It's all good David, let's see some more. Welcome to Heart of Midlothian Football Club.

Teenage munchkins & mediocrity

When Hibs fans blethered on about the youthfulness of their squad we tittered in amusement, and we were quite right to do so as for a while, claims of inexperience were their favourite way to excuse mediocrity. But in the aftermath of this weekend's debacle against St Mirren, I've heard plenty of Jambos using much the same reasoning in their defence of what was quite simply a rubbish performance from the boys in maroon. Furthermore, we've also heard Csaba Laszlo complaining about the height of the team that took to the field on Saturday, players so afflicted by vertical challenges that they're probably now down on record as the shortest team fielded by Hearts in the last 5 years.

But does any of this stuff really matter? I'm not convinced. Yes, we have a relatively youthful squad but in those ranks we have a number of younger players who are almost seasoned first teamers these days: Andy Driver, Lee Wallace, Eggert Jonsson. If youth and inexperience are such huge obstacles, then why was Gary Glen probably one of our best players on the day? As for the height issue, would being a few inches taller really have ensured that our players remembered to mark their opposition? It wasn't height advantage that gave Dorman all the room in the world to stick in that equaliser, and I certainly don't remember our defenders being overwhelmed by aerial challenges. In fact, I don't remember our defenders being overwhelmed by St Mirren at all.

I could go into the players-out-of-position argument and while I'm happy to acknowledge that this might have an effect, I don't believe that it had any real impact upon the game this weekend. St Mirren were livelier than we might have expected following their mid-week Cup rumble with Motherwell on Thursday, but they didn't ever really test us. Indeed, we were hardly unleashing wave after wave of attack either but the difference was that I don't remember us ever really looking like we weren't in control of the game - we just didn't have that final ball. It was sloppy, unlucky and frustrating stuff to watch though. It was mediocrity in motion.

It's little consolation to hear that both Aberdeen and Dundee United failed to bring home three points, and even less so when you consider that our two nearest competitors for the coveted 3rd spot were playing each other. Make no bones about it, this was an opportunity lost and there's no amount of excuse mongering that can disguise the fact that this weekend might prove to be memorable for all the wrong reasons. I'm tired of pulling out that old cliche, the one about how being a Hearts supporter is bad for the blood pressure because they never do things the easy way. I'm even more tired of hearing it being used when lady luck had absolutely nothing to do with the problems we're facing. We could have given ourselves a cushion but we failed, it's that simple. There are no excuses, and I hope the players realise that too.

Brown trout

The title of this blog entry may not get us many hits for Hearts related content, but I really couldn't think of anything more appropriate following the events of the weekend. So yes, we went to Easter Road and we won. How tremendous was that? The atmosphere in the Hearts end was just brilliant and having now watched the highlights again on the telly (about 4 zillion times), it was great to hear the Jambos outsinging the Hibbies yet again.

It's easy to be magnanimous when you've just beaten your local rivals in a cup match, and being entirely honest about it I'd have to agree that Fletcher's red card probably was a tad on the unfortunate side, but I have little sympathy for them as a group of supporters at the moment. Yes, they're having a tough time and it's clear to anyone that Mixu just isn't up to the job, but the empty seats at Easter Road on Sunday belied an attitude which deserves nothing other than criticism. They had their team beaten before a ball had even been kicked. How can their team go out on to that pitch with anything approximating self-belief when the fans can't muster up enough faith to get themselves to the game in the first place?

I'd feel sorry for them if it wasn't so wickedly satisfying to take delight in their misfortune. Again. So, it's 108 in a row. They haven't won the big cup since 1902 you know....

But on to Mixu Paatelainen. If he was anyone other than the manager of Hibernian I might actually feel slightly sorry for him. Or at least, I would have done until he saw fit to publicly snipe at our captain. There's no doubt that with the benefit of numerous replays, it's possible to see why the red card might have been considered a harsh call, but similarly, any sensible human being with basic football knowledge can understand why it was given in the first place. For all that Fletcher isn't known as a dirty player, Christophe Berra certainly isn't known for his cheatery either and what Mixu fails to understand is that the chain of events was caused by stupidity on Fletcher's part and not anything more sinister than that. If he wants to take a gamble like that during an important derby, then the consequences of his actions rest with Steven Fletcher and nobody else. A tackle doesn't have to break a leg before it can be considered reckless, and muttering viciously about Berra because he had the audacity to take evasive action won't change the fact that Fletcher screwed up. It's that simple.

The Scotsman reported this morning that Hibs are considering an appeal and forgive me for being a cynic, but I'm not convinced by this move and I seriously doubt whether any of the Hibs fans will be either. Mixu may well be the only man on the planet (other than Pat Nevin) who thinks that they have any grounds for such an appeal and considering that the ref has already reviewed his decision and declared that he was satisfied with the actions he took, who in their right mind would really think they stand a chance of getting anywhere? His coat is on the shoogliest of pegs and desperate attempts to appease the less cerebral of supporters won't change that.

What it will do, however, is make Mixu look like an even bigger fool than he already does.

His lack of intelligence can perhaps be excused as a lack of managerial experience, but there's no way to disguise a lack of class. Mixu's petulant exit from the dugout without pausing to shake hands with Csaba Laszlo on Sunday was every bit as revealing as the 'get it up ye' gesture made by Riordan towards the Hearts fans. Out-witted, out-played, out-thought and most definitely out of their depth.

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Bad day at the office

If the match reports don't make gloomy enough reading, I thought I'd add some more grumbles to the mix in the wake of today's chaotic fixture at Pittodrie. WHAT was that all about? Two red cards, a handful of yellows, players kicking each other, players kicking doors, bills for broken glass. Our players weren't just useless today, it would seem that they were also somewhat bereft of anything approximating Christmas spirit.

It's often difficult to get a real idea of a game without seeing it, and the chronic commentating skills of BBC Sportsound don't often help to make this any easier, but fortunately we can always rely on the 'colourful' Hearts World for some straight talking. Gary Mackay growled his way through the 90 minutes of play while the others merely muttered occasionally and whistled through their teeth at the antics of the referee. Oh yes, Brines - another one who didn't exactly cover himself in glory. Surely something has to be done about this ridiculous excuse for an official before he causes a riot? There are few referees whose inept performances are enough to have home and away supporters singing in unison about how awful you are, but he's one of them.

The increasingly impressive Janos Balogh excepted, it would be fair to say that our team just didn't turn up today. I grimaced slightly within the first few minutes of the game when the commentator gave a wry chuckle and flippantly suggested that the players looked like they might have overindulged on the old mince pies and appeared to be unusually sluggish. I thought it was just a slow start, nothing too odd about that, but no - this was the shape of things to come.


The defenders struggled to defend, the midfielders struggled to string a pass together and as for Nade, it's difficult to know what he did or didn't do as his name was barely mentioned in amongst the flurry of reports on neat little bits of play from Aberdeen's fired up mob. It was no surprise whatsoever that Aberdeen opened the scoring, and even less of a surprise that the goal came from former Jambo Lee Miller. It was just one of those days.

By this point, I would have switched it off and gone to do something less stressful like going through my credit card statement for December, but devotion can be a painful thing...I stuck around for the second half in the hope that Csaba's bum-kicking at half-time would be enough to see our team turn up for the remaining 45 minutes. Nope, not a hope in hell. If anything, they were worse.


So then, I got to thinking about the chances of 10 players all having an off-day on the same afternoon and decided that it had to be a good sign. Surely it then follows that they will all have an equally synchronised and simultaneous bout of stupendously good form next weekend? This theory might be the ultimate in straw grabbing but with a derby looming, this is really no time for permitting the gloom to descend upon Tynecastle and it's citizens. Had we gone into next week's game against our local rivals with a carefully maintained, unbeaten run, there is no doubt in my mind that we would have lost. It's the way of the world. The ultimate in footballing sod's law.

Plus, it's one game. It's not the end of the world. It's not like we lost to Airdrie. So I'm drawing a line under this one and looking forward to our triple whammy of Hibs/Motherwell/Hibs next week instead. I'm normally too superstitious to openly admit to dreams of taking scalps from both Mixu and McGhee in the same week, but there's nothing wrong with a little controlled optimism every once in a while....

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Obua: not fit for purpose?

Despite a less than illustrious start to his career in maroon, occasional flashes of footballing ability and a growing faith in Csaba's judgement had ensured that David Obua wasn't written off quite as quickly as might have been expected by a nervy Hearts support. Some neat passes, a decent first touch and talk of his versatility had reassured onlookers that given time, there was a chance that the South African player of the year and former Kaiser Chiefs star could become a useful addition to the squad.

While some were quicker to lose patience than others, a fair number amongst the support did try their best to overlook some awkward flaws in his game and gave due consideration to the fact that a period of adjustment could be required. He was slow to move in for the tackle, preferring instead to attempt pass interception from a safe distance. He was visibly off the pace and wanted too much time on the ball. His positional awareness was shaky. His workrate was less than convincing, and at times he looked like a man who would rather be anywhere else than on a football pitch. If this wasn't enough, his build was anything other than typical of your average SPL player and despite being reasonably tall, he looked worryingly like he might snap in a strong breeze.

Listed in this way, these not inconsiderable problems seem to present conclusive evidence that he just wasn't likely to make it but it would appear that we're nothing if not optimists down in Gorgie. A few moans and groans from the stands was as bad as it got for Obua - the fans merely raised an eyebrow at his trousers-around-the-ankles press conference houdini antics and even forgave him for the heinous act of turning out in green boots.

But a charmed existence of this kind can't last forever and when you're on a sticky wicket as it is, the second last thing you should do is push your luck. The absolutely last thing you should do is snuff out any remaining goodwill and make yourself the most disliked man in Gorgie by spitting at your own fans.

I'm not the type to boo or heckle players and in a cauldron like Tynecastle where players are so close to the support that they can hear every word, I fail to see how booming criticism and insults are likely to effect improvements in performance. Nonetheless, supporters are entitled to voice their opinions and should be able to do so without the intended target responding with a torrent of abuse and globs of projectile saliva. Had Obua demonstrated half as much vigour or aggression with a ball at his feet, there's every chance that he would have avoided such a situation in the first place because while lack of ability can be forgiven, lack of effort certainly cannot. To those who would gladly gnaw off their own arm for a chance to wear that maroon jersey, it's the ultimate act of disrespect. A universal footballing sentiment and a characteristic of supporters which I'd imagine is every bit as prevalent in South Africa as it is in Scotland...

So, where to go from here? Csaba Laszlo has voiced his disappointment in Obua's performance thus far and it remains to be seen whether or not he can do enough to convince the manager that he deserves another chance. However, I'd hazard a guess that the supporters would quite gladly do a whip round for his plane ticket back to Uganda and that his actions this weekend may have been the final nail in his coffin where they are concerned. It might be going a little far to suggest that his position is completely untenable, football fans are also characteristically fickle and short of memory, but I've seen nothing to suggest that he has either the required levels of commitment or bottle to turn this situation around. If I were him, I'd begin with a grovelling apology to the fans but I'm not holding my breath - his rotten attitude could well be a more significant problem than his questionable footballing abilities.